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7 Steps To Ease You Back Into Dating After A Divorce

By Andrea Johnson on March 17, 2010 0 function googleTranslateElementInit() { new google.translate.TranslateElement({pageLanguage: 'en', layout: google.translate.TranslateElement.FloatPosition.TOP_LEFT, gaTrack: true, gaId: 'UA-19559149-2'}, 'google_translate_element'); } googleTranslateElementInit();

Going through a divorce is hard enough on its own without having to worry about putting yourself back out there. Many people who get divorced are so used to being with one person that they forget what it is like to be single and on the dating scene again. It is almost like trying to learn how to ride a bicycle from scratch (people say you never forget, but when was the last time you tried to ride a bicycle?). Start with the training wheels and go from there.

1. Wait until the divorced is finalised.

Do not go jumping in with both feet and ensure that the divorce has officially gone through before you even think about dating again. I would also recommend taking some time out once the divorce is over to rediscover who you are and give yourself time to heal. Running into another relationship will only tarnish your efforts and possibly ruin your chances of finding real happiness.

2. Do the things you have been putting off.

If you have always wanted to go sky-diving, but your husband or wife stopped you because they said it was dangerous or too expensive then you have nothing holding you back now. Get out there and do the things you have not been able to do. It will help to take your mind off of the past and put you in a good place to start meeting new people. It will also give you something to talk about during dates.

3. Get out there and make new friends.

Join a social group or take up a new hobby and attend classes. It will be a good way to meet new people and expand your social circle. It will also increase the possibility of finding potential dates. Go out as often as you can and just have fun. People will be more attracted to you if you seem to be enjoying yourself. Do not forget to smile.

4. Try not to talk about your ex.

Naturally you can talk to friends and family if you are feeling down, but do not talk about your ex on dates or to new partners. Unless they ask questions or it is absolutely necessary then you need to leave the past exactly where it belongs and try to move on. Also, if you must bring them up then avoid negative comments. You need to eliminate negativity from your life entirely and focus on getting it right the next time around. Carrying around anger and bad feelings about your ex will not be good for you or your future relationships. Learn to forgive and let the bad things go.

5. Do not get into a relationship for any other reason than because you want to.

I strongly recommend against dating someone purely for the sake of making your ex jealous or simply because you do not want to be lonely. This will not be healthy for you and will only damage your chances at finding potential future prospects.

6. Do not let your new date meet your children until things are serious.

If you have children, then I strongly suggest that you do not introduce your dates to them until things are serious and you are sure that the relationship has potential to grow into something special. Children are often vulnerable after a divorce and you do not want to make things worse by bringing a stream of random people in and out of their lives.

7. Take things slowly and learn how to have fun again.

Remember what it was like before you got married and possibly had children? Things used to be fun and light hearted. Yes, you may be older and wiser now, but you have not forgotten how to laugh have you? Suggest to your dates that you go watch a comedy show together, or visit an amusement park if you are brave enough. Go down to the beach and build sand castles together or splash amongst the waves. Have fun and enjoy yourself, ensuring your date has a good time too.

The thought of dating again can indeed be scary, but it can also be fun and exciting if you go about it the right way. Do not do anything you are uncomfortable with or do not feel ready for.

Andrea Johnson has put together a complimentary report that will help you build your dating confidence quickly. To download it instantly visit http://www.helpingyoudate.com var switchTo5x=true; stLight.options({publisher: "e5ad18bb-7b8b-45fc-a204-182850b66a55", doNotHash: true, doNotCopy: true, hashAddressBar: false}); (function() { var referer="";try{if(referer=document.referrer, "undefined"==typeof referer)throw"undefined"}catch(exception){referer=document.location.href, (""==referer||"undefined"==typeof referer)&&(referer=document.URL)}referer=referer.substr(0, 700); var rcel = document.createElement("script"); rcel.id = 'rc_' + Math.floor(Math.random() * 1000); rcel.type = 'text/javascript'; rcel.src = "http://trends.revcontent.com/serve.js.php?w=19345&t="+rcel.id+"&c="+(new Date()).getTime()+"&width="+(window.outerWidth || document.documentElement.clientWidth)+"&referer="+referer; rcel.async = true; var rcds = document.getElementById("rcjsload_f2583d"); rcds.appendChild(rcel); })();

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